On Dealing with Failure

I hate failing. There are very few things that I enjoy less than trying my best, really giving something my all, only to fall short. Obviously, I’m not alone in this feeling. In fact, I would be truly and honestly shocked if I met someone who actually liked failing. But, no matter how much I despise it, failing is just a part of life. It’s a part of life that you can’t really control. There is one thing, though, you absolutely can control though: how you deal with that failure.

I have failed at SO many things throughout my not-so-short life. I think the first thing I ever failed at was becoming a racecar driver…but not just any racecar driver, Racer X. As a kid I was obsessed with the animated show (and comic books/manga) Speed Racer. I don’t remember the exact moment when I found out that I would never, and could never, be an already extant, fictional, character who was simultaneously a world class racecar driver and international super spy. I was crushed. And while I don’t remember the aftermath too clearly either, I assume I dealt with this first real failure by dropping to the floor and screaming bloody murder until my goldfish like brain forgot why I was screaming in the first place.

I’d like to think I’ve grown up since then, maybe figured out a few tips and tricks on how to deal with things better, but really, I think that I already had the nugget of truth on how to deal with failure figured out all those years ago: a short memory. 

My greatest career failure (at least so far!), after professional racecar driver/mystery man/international spy, was trying to become a Major League Baseball player, and the more I reflect on this failure, the more I think baseball teaches every player how to fail gracefully. Baseball is an incredibly hard sport. In what other sport can you fail seven out of every ten tries and still make the Hall of Fame?! Truly baseball is all about having a selectively short memory. It doesn’t matter how badly you fail, how stupid a pitcher makes you look, or how lost you feel during an at-bat. Your job is to get back up there the next time with the attitude that you’re the baddest mother fucker alive who’s never even considered failure is an option.

It’s this mixture of a short memory and irrational confidence that has gotten me this far as a writer trying to make it in the industry (which is to say, not very far). I’ve had few enough successes that you could count them on one hand…and hundreds, if not thousands, of failures. It still hurts like a bitch every time I fail, but I try my best to give myself a day or two to mope and whine and feel bad for myself. Then I get up, dust myself off, grab my bat, and step back into the batter’s box (even though right now I’d rather take that bat and smash my computer to bits) whether that means trying again or trying something totally new.

So, help me out, how do you deal with failure or setbacks? Any and all advice is welcome!