On Lawnmowers and Weedwhackers

Picture this scenario in your mind’s eye: it’s a lovely winter Tuesday. The air is crisp and clear. You slept well the night before and even woke up before your alarm went off. You’re working from home today and you’re not slammed but you have enough to do to make the day go by. On your schedule you have a meeting at 3pm and then an hour blocked off at 4pm to really read and digest this week essay from Will’s Dumb Brain (as you should). You spend the morning working at a leisurely pace and the world feels calm and quiet. You have a nice lunch and prepare for your meeting. You log onto the Zoom a few minutes early just to be sure your lighting is good and your headphones are working. The meeting starts up, people join the chat, and it’s time to get down to business…of course this is the exact moment a cacophony of lawnmowers, weedwhackers, leaf blowers, firetrucks, chainsaws, police sirens, and military fighter jets all decide to start up their engines. Is this hell? Nope, it’s normal, and it sucks.

I hate this phenomenon and it never fails to happen at the worst time. As soon as you need some actual peace and quiet, that’s when the noise starts. Whether it’s your dog barking, your child crying, me crying, or a sudden wind storm so fierce you’re afraid it’ll smash the windows to bits, it always comes when you can least afford to be deafened.

Now, I can already hear the brainiest of you immediately retorting, “well actually, Will, you moron, you absolute dolt, these sorts of noises start and stop all the time and there are plenty of times when you were able to work without noises bothering you. You just remember the times that infuriate you more than the times that were unremarkable.” And to that I would reply, “HELL YEAH MAN! BECAUSE IT’S SUPER ANNOYING.”

There are just some days where it feels like it doesn’t matter if you put on your noise-canceling head phones, or move to the other room, or even pick up all your stuff and walk down the street to the local coffee shop, it just feels like that leaf blower is following you.

And even worse than that initial rage that bubbles up inside when the noise begins is that false promise of the return of silence when whoever or whatever is making the noise decides to take a quick break to lull you back to the edge of sanity only to come roaring back with the sound and fury of a formation of helicopters blasting Ride of the Valkyries.

In that moment, when the eye of the storm of distraction passes and you’re back in the gale-force-winds of ruckus, you find out what kind of a person you really are. Do you snap and the next person to talk to you? Do you retreat into the fetal position? Do you begin maniacally laughing like The Joker?

So what kind of noise drives you bonkers, and how do you react when it all becomes too much?