On Misunderstanding the Youth

I like to think of myself as a pretty with-it guy. I know the TikTok dances, I know the hot memes, and I know all the slang from “rizz” to “mid.” But none of that seems to bridge the gap that I’m starting to find between myself and the youth. I’ve spoken before about substitute teaching at my old high school and this time, it has sent me into a tizzy that I won’t soon get over.

Recently, I got the call that they needed a weeklong sub for 10^th- and 12^th-grade English classes. Fantastic! I speak English, I have (basically) a double major in English, and as a professional writer and prolific reader, I felt well-equipped to handle this assignment. Oh, what’s that? The 10^th graders are watching the 2004, Oscar Award Winning, Martin Scorsese classic The Aviator? DANG DUDE, as a screenwriter I thought I was doubly well-equipped for this assignment. Well, my dear reader, I wasn’t as prepared for this as I thought I would be!

It’s been a while since I was in school but I remember being incredibly stoked any time we got to watch a movie in class. There was something special about seeing that projector turn on and the idea that for one single class, I wouldn’t have to learn a goddamn thing. As a teacher, it’s a little different. Watching the 170-minute biopic, one hour per day is one thing. Watching each section three times each day with groups of teenagers is a whole different beast.

I love Leonardo DiCaprio’s acting but having to watch him crash an airplane and then scream as his leg breaks and his hands are scorched three times in a 24-hour period is enough for me. Couple that with having to hear 60-some-odd 16-year-olds say “EW THAT’S GROSS” as Howard Hughes pees in glass bottles over and over again…yeah guys IT IS GROSS, THAT’S THE POINT. I know his battles with obsessive-compulsive disorder and germophobia are portrayed in a way that makes the audience uncomfortable but IT’S SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

What drove me over the edge of understanding was the fact that not a single one of these kids liked the movie. It’s not like we’re watching Only God Forgives or the affront to God that is Catwoman! This is an awesome movie, with action and romance, Leo, and Cate Blanchette, and Kate Beckinsale! It’s at this point in my writing that I believe I am fully becoming Grandpa Simpson. His famous quote reads, “I used to be with it, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary to me.”

qI guess this happens to all of us at some point, I just didn’t think it would happen to me this early, over a movie like this. I thought I had more time to feel young and cool. I thought I would understand how they felt for a little bit longer…but I guess the death of youth comes for you whether you’re ready for it or not.

So, when did you realize you weren’t connecting with the youth anymore?