On Spending $20 EVERY TIME YOU GO OUT
There are so many things that nobody tells you as a kid. They don’t tell you how to do your taxes, they don’t tell you how quickly you’ll stop understanding today’s youth, and they definitely don’t tell you how you have to expect to spend TWENTY DOLLARS every time you leave the house as an adult! It’s crazy, it’s unbelievable, it’s… kinda NORMAL?!
I want to preface the rest of this by saying that I’ve been experiencing this phenomenon for years now, without even realizing it. It was only when I stumbled upon a TikTok (I know, I’m too old for it, they’re stealing my personal information, it’s rotting my brain…my friends, my brain is already shriveled and rotten, my personal information has been to more countries than I’ll ever see, and yes, I am too old) that pointed out this phenomenon, that I realized how pervasive it is.
EVERY TIME you leave the house as an adult, you MUST be ready to spend at least 20 dollars. Sometimes you expect it, like if you’re going on a Target run or a date night. Those days it doesn’t feel so bad. You’ve girded your financial loins for the monetary reaping that is about to commence. Other times, it comes out of leftfield and knocks the coins right out of your purse. Say you go for a walk and decide to just grab a coffee and then “Ooo those cookies look delicious and I absolutely deserve one!” BAM! $20 after tip. Maybe you just need to get a few ingredients to make dinner. A tomato here, a clove of garlic there…oh yeah, we’re almost out of Sriracha, and we could use some more toilet paper…KA-POW! $30, easy!
At this point, the only way I know how to save money is to stay locked in my apartment like some kind of hermit or agoraphobic financial planner… and then sometimes even that doesn’t work! Online shopping has made spending $20 easier than it has ever been in the history of humanity. You need some new Tupperware (because you put spaghetti in yours one too many times and now the entire bowl has that weird light-red-tinge to it and even though you know it won’t taste like tomato sauce, it feels weird to put fresh fruit in there because what if it tastes like pasta sauce??) and then you’re down the rabbit hole of “maybe I should get a salad spinner, wow that shoe rack would look great in my apartment, and I really could use a new mouse pad…” and suddenly $20 after $20 after $20 is flying out of your digital wallet like bats out of hell!
Even when you just want to drive to a friend’s house to watch a movie, after making dinner at home, and promising yourself you won’t buy any candy on the way there…you notice your car’s gas tank is precariously close to empty…well shit! There goes way more than 20 dollars!
So, my dear readers, have you noticed this $20 phenomenon? Or am I just FINALLY going crazy?
New York City is the worst at this. You can’t walk one block without handing someone a twenty. At least you get lots of pretzels and halal food though!
Here's one small tip I've learned: Don't go grocery shopping when you're hungry. I have made some insane impulse buys over the years because my stomach said, "I know it's not on the list, but look at it, doesn't it look delicious? So many cheeses in it! Life is so short. We owe it to ourselves to try it."