On the Application Process
I know you come here for my extremely controversial takes. Takes such as, dogs are good, sleeping in is nice, and bees are nothing but stripy little yellow shits. Well, today I have a real doozy of a take, a real humdinger of an opinion, a true barn burner of a topic to dissect today: applying for jobs and how much it SUUUUCKS.
As a writer, I love my job. I spend my days staring off into space wondering where I went so wrong. Maybe, I could have been a lawyer? (eh, I do love arguing) Could I have been a doctor? (definitely not, I have fainted at the sight of a needle) Would I have been the next great American astronaut? (LOL absolutely not! I got bad eyes, a bad back, and if you put too much math in front of me I’ll have a nervous breakdown)
Once I recover from the momentary panic over my past life choices, I’m back to trying to figure out how to support myself financially between those brief moments of ecstasy when writing pays the bills. As much as I love this Substack, the likes and kind comments just don’t pay the rent (and trust me, I’ve tried to offer them, but I think my landlord is psychologically identical to The Grinch). So, that leaves me in the classic writer/actor/musician/painter/philosopher situation of constantly applying for jobs.
Technology has made tons of stuff better in our lives from navigation to phone calls to entertainment. One thing they’ve made much much worse is (I assume) applying for jobs. It used to be that you’d pop open the newspaper, find some cool job you want, drop off a resume and then hope. Nowadays you have to look through a million different websites, give each and every one of those websites every piece of personal information you’ve ever possessed, create a whole-ass profile, upload a resume, AND THEN YOU GOTTA ENTER IN ALL THAT SAME INFORMATION AGAIN! We have AI that can create incredible works of art from doodles, we have cars that can drive themselves and rockets that can land on their own, we have voice assistants in our houses that could slake the curiosity of even the most sugar buzzed five-year-old, and we still have to upload a resume and then type in every single piece of information that we just uploaded? ITS INSANE!
And then, AND THEN, most of the jobs you apply to will simply never get back to you! No, “thanks for applying!” No, “sorry but you didn’t get the job, we’ll keep you on file if something else comes up.” No, “who the HELL do you think you are applying to THIS job with THAT resume?!” Just dead silence, like you sent them an anti-capitalist meme instead of your headshot by accident.
So, then the cycle starts again! What about you? Have you applied for a job recently? How did it go? Did you get super mad like me?
Not quite the same but apartment hunting SUCKS too. I hate the process of hoping for something and being disappointed when it doesn’t work out! But I guess that’s just part of making upward movements in the world
I could, of course, give you a lot of pseudo-Marxist B.S. about surplus labor, pitting to working classes against each other, etc. However, the cold truth is that finding a long-term, satisfying job is a matter of persistence, knowing the system, communication skills, and just plain dumb luck. It also is a lesson in humility and the ability to bear the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune without going postal. In a just and equitable world we'd all find our sweet spot and coast into retirement as fulfilled individuals, but finding your bliss, and a regular paycheck, can be a real pain in the ass. Like anything worth having, getting that job you dream of can turn life around for good. So, do what you need to to keep your head above water, keep up your efforts to find that lifetime job, keep exploring other options, and continue to use your blog community to maintain your sanity through the whole crazy process.