On the Most Selfless Act of Love

We all have people we love…to varying degrees. From that guy you know at work, “oh, Jerry? Love that guy. Real ace with Excel” to a mother or father or possibly an offspring. Depending on how much you love a person, there are different tiers of what you would do for them. Would you cover a shift for them? Would you help them move a bulky old couch? Would you bring them some nice soup if they’re sick? Or would you bestow upon them the most selfless act of love in the known universe: drive them to the airport?

Airports, while modern marvels of travel and commerce, are hell holes. I can’t speak to every airport in the world (because that would be an insanely egomaniacal thing to try and do) but I have been to my fair share of them. This essay is going to focus on major airports, your LAXs or your JFKs or your O’Hares. Small airports are an entirely different beast…hell I’ll drive you to Burbank airport just for fun. If major airports are tigers, then your little local airport is a small kitten whose picture is so adorable you can’t help but send it to your friends and loved ones.

So, when it comes to major airports, they all have a few things in common: 1) they’re out of the way. This makes perfect sense! As someone who went to college right next to LAX, it super sucks to have mega jumbo jets flying directly over your apartment 24/7 and putting airports out of the way minimizes the amount of people who have to deal with that special type of mental health destroying sound. 2) They are almost always busy. This also makes sense! Why would you build an airport that doesn’t get a lot of travelers? That’s literally what it’s there for. 3) The traffic at the airport is a special blend of Mad Max style insanity, not seen anywhere else in the world.

If you’ve ever driven someone to LAX then you truly love them, and you’ve experienced all three of these common factors. Depending on where you started, you probably had to drive all the way across town. On that drive you probably dealt with infuriating traffic from several different sources, culminating in the carnival-style-bumper-cars-from-hell experience that is trying to get someone to their gate.

Nowhere else that I’ve experienced has such vehicular madness! People just stop their cars, without warning, basically wherever they want, no matter how many lanes of traffic they’re blocking. They swing open their doors with the kind of reckless abandon that gives my anxiety anxiety! They cut each other off, only to be cut off by busses that are more than happy to treat your car like a bumper in a bowling alley. And every one of these behaviors is performed in front of what feels like one MILLION cop cars!

So, if I put my sanity, my car, and my life on the line to drive you to the airport, just understand that I really do love you…even if I spent the entire time swearing like a sailor.

What’s your version of this most selfless act of love? And what would it take for you to drive someone to LAX in the middle of rush hour?