On a Seismic Shift

There are decades when not much changes and then there are months, weeks, and days where it feels like the entire world is shifting around you. Things look different, things feel different, hell, certain things even taste different. Some people shy away from changes like this. I, on the other hand, embrace them. I am, of course, talking about the fact that I’ve started drinking a second cup of coffee each day.

What, did you think I was going to write about a disastrous debate, an assassination attempt, or a candidate calling it quits? For free?! No, no, I’m here to be self-centered because, at my core, I am an only child.

Recently, I’ve started trying to wake up earlier. I used to be a prodigious night owl. I’d stay up into the late hours of the evening procrastinating whatever writing I was planning on doing. I’d finish sometime between 3 am and 5 am and crash until someone in the neighborhood or apartment had the audacity to make enough noise to wake me up. At my advanced age, I’ve decided to put those days far behind me and become a guy who never stops talking about how he gets up early(ish).

I’ve always been a one-cup-of-coffee-a-day guy. Sure, if I’m really dragging, or killing some time in a coffee shop, I’ll indulge in a second cup of that delicious brown water. Recently, though, I’ve started to normalize a second cup of coffee in the afternoon and it has been a revelation for me. I no longer dread 2:30 pm as the time when the thrall of a nap calls to me like the One Ring called to Frodo. Now, I can power through the afternoon like, well, a normal human.

There is a dark side to this newfound power, unfortunately. I now have a ticking time bomb within me. If I don’t move my body in some way, shape, or form, I’ll be thrown deep into a state of anxiety that could have even the most devout Buddhist sweating and squirming. Who could have guessed that putting a bunch of extra energy into someone who spends much of their day sitting at a desk, typing little jokes, would require an outlet for said energy?

I’m hardly the first person to drink a second cup of coffee and realize they have the power to do anything at any time anywhere. When I used to work in production, I’d routinely run into some of the most capable, productive, and efficient people I’d ever met…and they’d be crushing their fourth cup of coffee by 10 am! I assume these folks either made some horrific deal with the devil or would spend fifteen nightmarish minutes each day running in circles, screaming their head off before returning to their role as resident super person.

One of the best and worst things about being a human is how good we are at getting used to things. I know this phase will soon pass and I’ll either have to ramp up to a third cup, or PCP, or take a caffeine break…but for now, I’m riding HIGH.

What’s your caffeine routine?