So last weekend (as of writing this) was the sporting version of Spring’s coming out party. That’s right, The Masters golf tournament. The Masters is one of the four majors of the golf season and the only one that is played at the same course every single year: Augusta National Golf Club in Augusta Georgia. There are so many things about this tournament and this place that are special but what really shocked me this year was what it turned me into.
Okay, so duplicating minor behavioral habits of your father is your WORST nightmare? I mean, it was a nap, for God's sake. I didn't beat you, or your mother (who could take me in a fight any day). I rarely kited checks and never lost our house due to gambling, drink or drugs. I didn't even stand in front of the open refrigerator eating pickles out of the jar in my underwear like my dad, something I swore I'd never do and a promise I have successfully kept. And it's not like we didn't have another TV somewhere. Ah, well, what can you do? At least I have seen you fall in love with golf as I did. And baseball. And the Packers. Couldn't get you into the Beatles, but you like some Tom Petty. I'll take it. And in terms of my own promises to myself as a kid, I have not developed my own dad's chronic inability to be ready on time for any important family function. The memory of my mom, brother, sister and me, all dressed and standing by the front door as my father wandered into the living room in his underwear (again the underwear!) black socks and sleeveless t-shirt, asking, "Ruthie, where's that blue tie?" and my mother, through clenched teeth answering, "Which blue tie? You have twenty." is seared into my brain. And that, I am proud to say, I have also never inflicted on you!
It is a conspiracy that dates back to the invention of color TV. Color TV was created for golf naps when the screen is flooded with landscapes of undulating greenness. Impossible to stay awake, particularly for the Master’s where they insure no one’s slumber is interrupted by removing loud distracting commercials. Scottie is totally dominant these days isn’t he. Amazing run. Thanks for yet another great piece. Willie looking for his tie in his shorts is a nice visual shared above by that guy you swore not to become. You two are so much alike I fear you are doomed to see more and more of him in you as time rolls—lucky you! Enjoy that but follow your lovely sainted Mother’s advice—enjoy those naps! Love to all!
Regarding golf, I watch when I need to calm down from the events of the day or CNN. As for doing something I swore I'd never do, it's breaking my promise never to say, "in my day we...".
Don't get me wrong...I love golf. I get out often even after a right hip replacement about 10 weeks ago. I enjoy playing the game more than watching it on TV. But watching it on TV is an inviation to take a really nice nap. It's such a tranquil, peaceful and lovely scene that it's hard for me to stay awake.
In your dad's defense, The Masters always takes place right after hiatus begins. After months and months of working 7 days a week and 24 hours a day, your dad deserved a nap!
I remember my dad watching golf on Sunday afternoons. He sat in his Naugahyde recliner with a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and peanut butter and lettuce on white bread sandwich. Yeech! We kids knew to steer clear and keep quiet because it was his time to relax. Inevitably, he fell asleep. How could you not watching the most boring game on television where the announcers whispered all the action. ZZZZZZZZZ ! You come from a long line of golfer-nappers (both sides of the family) so take your naps and enjoy!!
Okay, so duplicating minor behavioral habits of your father is your WORST nightmare? I mean, it was a nap, for God's sake. I didn't beat you, or your mother (who could take me in a fight any day). I rarely kited checks and never lost our house due to gambling, drink or drugs. I didn't even stand in front of the open refrigerator eating pickles out of the jar in my underwear like my dad, something I swore I'd never do and a promise I have successfully kept. And it's not like we didn't have another TV somewhere. Ah, well, what can you do? At least I have seen you fall in love with golf as I did. And baseball. And the Packers. Couldn't get you into the Beatles, but you like some Tom Petty. I'll take it. And in terms of my own promises to myself as a kid, I have not developed my own dad's chronic inability to be ready on time for any important family function. The memory of my mom, brother, sister and me, all dressed and standing by the front door as my father wandered into the living room in his underwear (again the underwear!) black socks and sleeveless t-shirt, asking, "Ruthie, where's that blue tie?" and my mother, through clenched teeth answering, "Which blue tie? You have twenty." is seared into my brain. And that, I am proud to say, I have also never inflicted on you!
I love watching golf but sometimes the frantic pace of it is disorienting. Give me a three day cricket match any time.
It is a conspiracy that dates back to the invention of color TV. Color TV was created for golf naps when the screen is flooded with landscapes of undulating greenness. Impossible to stay awake, particularly for the Master’s where they insure no one’s slumber is interrupted by removing loud distracting commercials. Scottie is totally dominant these days isn’t he. Amazing run. Thanks for yet another great piece. Willie looking for his tie in his shorts is a nice visual shared above by that guy you swore not to become. You two are so much alike I fear you are doomed to see more and more of him in you as time rolls—lucky you! Enjoy that but follow your lovely sainted Mother’s advice—enjoy those naps! Love to all!
Regarding golf, I watch when I need to calm down from the events of the day or CNN. As for doing something I swore I'd never do, it's breaking my promise never to say, "in my day we...".
Don't get me wrong...I love golf. I get out often even after a right hip replacement about 10 weeks ago. I enjoy playing the game more than watching it on TV. But watching it on TV is an inviation to take a really nice nap. It's such a tranquil, peaceful and lovely scene that it's hard for me to stay awake.
In your dad's defense, The Masters always takes place right after hiatus begins. After months and months of working 7 days a week and 24 hours a day, your dad deserved a nap!
Like father, like son .. there are a couple for me too.. 😂
I remember my dad watching golf on Sunday afternoons. He sat in his Naugahyde recliner with a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and peanut butter and lettuce on white bread sandwich. Yeech! We kids knew to steer clear and keep quiet because it was his time to relax. Inevitably, he fell asleep. How could you not watching the most boring game on television where the announcers whispered all the action. ZZZZZZZZZ ! You come from a long line of golfer-nappers (both sides of the family) so take your naps and enjoy!!