I’m a city boy, born and bred. I didn’t spend my childhood traipsing through the wilderness, collecting all my belongings in a little bindle, sailing down the mighty Mississippi river on a raft, and faking my own death. Because of this, I have more experience navigating a sprawling metropolis than I do understanding and appreciating many of natures’ most prevalent critters. But, with all that being said, I think I am well within my rights to assert this one opinion that I hold so closely and so dearly: fuck bees.
OMG...this was so funny that I did a spit take with my bottle of watermelon infused hint water and my nostrils were stinging! ... Fuck Bees, indeed! I, too got stung by a bee as a child growing up in rural Pennsylvania and damn that hurt!! I have a tremendous dislike of them.
Another winner of a topic. Bees sting and die, wasps sting and live to sting again. In Kansas as a kid I was tasked with clearing out wasps nests -- made of mud -- from under the eaves. Thus, in the middle of summer, wearing full winter gear, including a stocking cap down over my face, I would quickly attack the nest with a spary from a hose, then flee as quickly as the Flash as the swarm came after me. Then repeat, and repeat again. With luck, I'd avoid getting stung as the wasps, with always one or two stuck on my jacket. But occasionally, one woyuld get through my supposedly impenatrable armor. Come to think of it, my Dad must have been either punishing me for being me or trying to teach me a valuable life lesson, which is still a mystery to me today.
Will this is great stuff! Keep at it. As a country boy it had me laughing out loud. Am sure your folks are proud! I know your Dad is worried that you are funnier than he is! 😂😂😂
In choosing to cause you short term agony, that tiny been gave it’s life in the most terrible way possible, much too graphic to mention here! I hope this makes you feel better in some odd way because that bee truly got fucked!
And yeah, Steve Ugoretz, we sent him to a very nice camp! Two years in a row. Even though his father never got to go to camp. Because his family were dirt poor farmers in the pizza fields.
Clearly this is a prime example of what happens when parents do not adequately expose their offspring to the wonders of Nature. Now I'm not saying that Will's parents are guilty of child neglect or any egregious offenses against the public good. For all I know, they sent you to summer camp, ecological boot camp, Boy Scouts or any of the many venues for introducing urban kids to "what they're missing". How many times in your life have insects or other invertebrates caused you pain or discomfort? How many times have your fellow humans done that to you? Have you been bitten by a dog, scratched by a cat, clawed by a budgie? How many times have microbes put you into misery? Yeah, bugs can bug you, bite you, sting you and even (God forbid) kill you. But please don't apply the extremist approach that the only good __________ is a dead one. (Of course there are those vicious Africanized killer bees...)
Will, I love all your blog posts but this is by far your funniest. Can't stop laughing (not at you with you). Clearly your mom did a good job with you regardless of what Steven Ugoretz may think or say.
OMG...this was so funny that I did a spit take with my bottle of watermelon infused hint water and my nostrils were stinging! ... Fuck Bees, indeed! I, too got stung by a bee as a child growing up in rural Pennsylvania and damn that hurt!! I have a tremendous dislike of them.
OK this was truly one of your best ! I laughed my face off and am still smiling. Cece is right F bees was your greatest line
Another winner of a topic. Bees sting and die, wasps sting and live to sting again. In Kansas as a kid I was tasked with clearing out wasps nests -- made of mud -- from under the eaves. Thus, in the middle of summer, wearing full winter gear, including a stocking cap down over my face, I would quickly attack the nest with a spary from a hose, then flee as quickly as the Flash as the swarm came after me. Then repeat, and repeat again. With luck, I'd avoid getting stung as the wasps, with always one or two stuck on my jacket. But occasionally, one woyuld get through my supposedly impenatrable armor. Come to think of it, my Dad must have been either punishing me for being me or trying to teach me a valuable life lesson, which is still a mystery to me today.
Will this is great stuff! Keep at it. As a country boy it had me laughing out loud. Am sure your folks are proud! I know your Dad is worried that you are funnier than he is! 😂😂😂
In choosing to cause you short term agony, that tiny been gave it’s life in the most terrible way possible, much too graphic to mention here! I hope this makes you feel better in some odd way because that bee truly got fucked!
bee careful out there
What were you wearing? They probably swarmed you cause how you were dressed. Don’t look so pollenatable and you won’t get stung B. *points to head*
And yeah, Steve Ugoretz, we sent him to a very nice camp! Two years in a row. Even though his father never got to go to camp. Because his family were dirt poor farmers in the pizza fields.
They say great comedy comes from pain. This is great comedy.
Clearly this is a prime example of what happens when parents do not adequately expose their offspring to the wonders of Nature. Now I'm not saying that Will's parents are guilty of child neglect or any egregious offenses against the public good. For all I know, they sent you to summer camp, ecological boot camp, Boy Scouts or any of the many venues for introducing urban kids to "what they're missing". How many times in your life have insects or other invertebrates caused you pain or discomfort? How many times have your fellow humans done that to you? Have you been bitten by a dog, scratched by a cat, clawed by a budgie? How many times have microbes put you into misery? Yeah, bugs can bug you, bite you, sting you and even (God forbid) kill you. But please don't apply the extremist approach that the only good __________ is a dead one. (Of course there are those vicious Africanized killer bees...)
FUCK BEES
Will, I love all your blog posts but this is by far your funniest. Can't stop laughing (not at you with you). Clearly your mom did a good job with you regardless of what Steven Ugoretz may think or say.
Hahahahahaha… favorite post! 🐝