26 Comments

I LOVE this one. So good, so true, so good because it's true. And I will share this with your audience, since as you love to remind me, I've told you every story I have multiple times: When your grandparents had the restaurant, your uncle Tom and I would stop by on our way home from school and make ourselves individual pizzas with a side order of fries. Unbeknowst to us, we were making a very early version of monster fries. The fries with the cheese and tomato sauce (and the white onions I liked on my pizza) were INCREDIBLE - as you can see, I loved them as much as I love this column. The only problem was, knowing how incredible they were, I was temperamentally incapable of waiting for them, or the pizza, to cool that crucial little bit, and my tongue and the roof of my mouth were perpetually burnt from the age of 13 until I went away to college. I was the gentle, early sixties Milwaukee version of a crackhead.

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Will got his love of fries from his dad. I’m potato chip gal - probably a Valley Girl thing.

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McDonald's fries were the best, are the best and will always be the best .... and it's not particularly close

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Rather than offer praise for my favorite frites, I need to vent. Whoever decided they were enhancing fries by coating them or adding seasoning a mix should be indicted as a culinary criminal.

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History has been made, as I agree with Eric. Some activist in the 90s I believe went on a campaign to expunge the lard, and altho still good, McDonald's fries are a shadow of what they were. Bring back the fat!!!

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Ah, the humble spud, starch of the masses, bain and blessing of the Irish, and the raw material of the noble pomme frite. It's a mystery why the fry has become such a part of the American Food Scene, as compared to the mashed potato, the hash brown or, (perish the thought) the upstart twice-baked. I suppose portability is a big part of the story, I can't imaging scarfing down a steaming handful of mashed spud while driving my Dad's Ford Galaxy down Capitol Drive in good old Beertown. Yet food is so easily associated with comfort and satisfaction, such that eating is a culture in itself. Food is a necessity, but also a reward, whether it's doused in ketchup, camouflaged with pizza sauce, or even slathered in mayo (which, after all, is also associated with Francophones). Vivre le frite!

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Love hash browns!

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Truly the starch of the Gods!

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The original McDonalds fries- made with lard were still the best . Maybe also due to nostalgia

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Give me CURLY

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This, and your love of horror films I will never quite understand

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Hahah, you don’t like curly fries?!

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Oh, I'll eat them if they're the only option, or if all the skinny ones are gone and I'm still hungry, which I will definitely still be, but I'm going with skinny, crispy first!

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The thinner and crispier the better.

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have to agree!

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What? No body cares about sweet potato fries? The very best!! 🍟

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must agree with my lovely wife. Sweet potato fries are the carrot cake of cakes.

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this is so funny because sweet potato fries are my favorite type of fries and carrot cake is my favorite type of cake!!

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Susan says she totally gets you on this one. I think it’s because the Russian side of you loves suffering. I’m willing to bet if Chekhov were writing Three Sisters today, Olga would like sweet potato fries and Irina would tease her about it.

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ha!! 100%

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Oh nooooo! Too healthy!!

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Bought 2 small frys for my grandkids. $7.72 - what's the world coming to???

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Wow. Thank God for the safety net of grandparents.

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Will, this is your best essay yet. French fries are my favorite food. If I had to pick one last meal on Earth, it would be a burger and fries. At Dodger Stadium, I can't eat my hot dog without garlic fries. As far as fast food fries, my favorites would be: 1) McDonald's skinny fries, 2) Del Taco crinkle cut fries (their chili cheese fries are surprisingly good) and 3) Fatburger steak fries. "Sit-down" fry favorites include chicken "frachos" from Yard House (order the chicken nachos and ask them to replace the chips with fries) and the truffle fries from the Steamin' Burger Truck at The Bungalow in Santa Monica (served with a garlic truffle sauce on the side that is so good I could probably eat it like soup). Not a fry-forward dish, but steak frites also hold a special place in my heart. A little disappointed in the mayo diss, but we can still be friends. In the Philippines, it's customary to dip fries in mayo mixed with ketchup. I can promise I'll eat a fry for you, but I can't promise that I'll save you any!

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Will, my favorite French Fries are the big, fat crunchy outside and piping hot inside "steak fries" with that SLOW ketchup! Nothing else...no gravy like in upstate NY bowling alleys, no slimey garlic.

What they have to do with steak is beyond me? With steak, I like an exquisite baked potato with a bit of buttah. I'm a purist, and who thought to add all that other crap to a baked potato: sour cream, chives, bacon bits... just to name a few?

I do agree with Mr. Pinhas in the sense of the attempted ruination of fries. Similar to all those flavors now added to potato chips...it's as if Voldermort got a hold of the Wise recipe and decided to weave his evil spell !!! Next thing ya know there'll be flavors of potato chips like "intestines and pancreas" lo-carb, non-fat "just like the cannibals used to make!"

This essay has been a long time coming and surely should be read by every man, woman and child who ever ordered fries as a meal in itself, or an accompaniment to their happier meal !!!!

RIGHT ON!!!! WRITE ON!!!!

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A loaded baked potato can indeed be delicious, but it's very hard to give your dog little bites of a loaded baked potato while you're driving, while slipping Sophie a few French fries as we tootled home from a slightly traumatic experience at the dog park today was easy-peasy and much neater.

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