I’m an only child and I think I’ve talked about this in various contexts, but whenever someone finds out this random fact about me they always have the same reaction, “OHHHHHH that makes so much sense!” Maybe it’s because I’m bossy and I’m always telling people to subscribe to my substack.
Our double date last week was a true egalitarian type beat. You never batted my hand out of the way as I reached for more wine. Didn't mind Aina's attempt at another slice of pizza. And we all certainly "shared" some laughs. [insert laugh track]
Amazing. You can live with someone for years and not realize they have a particular neurosis. As the author well knows, I spent his formative years across the dinner table from him (when I wasn't in a writers room eating my dinner in a mini-version of the Oklahoma land rush because we had forty pages of script to go through and it was already 7:30 and I wanted to be home before 2 a.m.) and didn't see this issue coming. The author also knows I grew up with a father who found eating a way to self-medicate, which means the image that still occasionally haunts my dreams is of my dad leaning across the table, his fork dangling menacingly over my half eaten...fill in the blank...and asking, "You through with that?" Maybe because of that, neither my brother, sister or myself, are nervous eaters. If anything, we can't eat when nervous. But also because of that, I do have a little problem with sharing. I want...no, I demand, the first bite of whatever I ordered. I hate when someone reaches over and tries to sample my dish before I have. To pick up on your medieval primogeniture run, it feels like a version of "droit du seigneur," the king's right to get first dibs on your spouse on your wedding night. And I want to make sure I get enough of what I ordered. Of course this applies to anyone but my kid. There is something in our genetic wiring that makes us willing to deny ourselves food if our offspring have eaten their share and are still hungry. As much of an over-eater as he was, I know this applied to my dad as well. It was just maybe a little harder for him.
Well first of all, aren’t we all neurotic? Second : I come from a family of five. I still have WWII ration stamps with my name on them, a time when our parents used to give the kids the bacon and then fried their bread in the bacon grease to get the taste of the bacon, so sharing was more than a matter of manners. But Will, when sharing with friends, you can loosen up. Just remember the phrase, “You gonna eat that?” Then wait a polite 3 seconds before you make your dive.
I’m so sorry I’ve ruined your life by not overcrowding the world with another kid. Having you was scary enough. Now finish this - I can’t eat another bite!❤️
Will—I am the wrong audience for this. I grew up in rural Kansas as the oldest of 8 and learned to eat as much as possible in the shortest possible time. Having said that—on the rare occasion when I share (usually the remains of the dinner of someone who couldn’t eat all they ordered)—there are times with my granddaughters or others of a sensitive age for whom I may leave the 51% of whatever is being shared! And for the reason you suggest! Best always! Ty
When I was growing up, the tradition in my family was that no one wanted to take the last piece of anything. Sometimes it would just sit out and spoil. But better than being a greedy pig!
Sharing food with friends and family is a wonderful way to explore multiple dishes without having to overorder. Problem is you need willing participants. So I recommend that you pick your meal partners carefully otherwise you may end up with fork marks on the back of your hand.
Just be thankful that you didn't grow up in a depression, like your grandparents likely did. Talk about food neuroses (and just about every type of possession). Also, be thankful if your parents didn't guilt you about starving children in (fill in the location). Sharing things at a reasonable level can be a positive thing, for you, and those you share with. It's part of what binds people together (again, Fred and Barney sharing that dinosaur steak). So, feel good about your generosity, as long as you're getting enough resources to keep yourself healthy and happy. So, you gonna eat that last piece of veggie delight pizza, or what?
Will, I've now caught up on all of your essays from this current one back thru "On the 4th of July". I printed them all out to read & reread and to make sure I was getting the subtle gists of your musings. I must say that I'm thoroughly enjoying all that you've written and will go back beyond the "4th" piece to refresh MY dumb brain full of misfired synapses, for more of what you've shared with your adoring public. My favorite line of the past work I've just enjoyed is " off the carpet of nothingness" which is a fine title for a book, a collection of essays, etc. or even an autobiography!
Please please please keep writing...it's a "REALLY Good Idea" !
Our double date last week was a true egalitarian type beat. You never batted my hand out of the way as I reached for more wine. Didn't mind Aina's attempt at another slice of pizza. And we all certainly "shared" some laughs. [insert laugh track]
Let's do it again soon.
Amazing. You can live with someone for years and not realize they have a particular neurosis. As the author well knows, I spent his formative years across the dinner table from him (when I wasn't in a writers room eating my dinner in a mini-version of the Oklahoma land rush because we had forty pages of script to go through and it was already 7:30 and I wanted to be home before 2 a.m.) and didn't see this issue coming. The author also knows I grew up with a father who found eating a way to self-medicate, which means the image that still occasionally haunts my dreams is of my dad leaning across the table, his fork dangling menacingly over my half eaten...fill in the blank...and asking, "You through with that?" Maybe because of that, neither my brother, sister or myself, are nervous eaters. If anything, we can't eat when nervous. But also because of that, I do have a little problem with sharing. I want...no, I demand, the first bite of whatever I ordered. I hate when someone reaches over and tries to sample my dish before I have. To pick up on your medieval primogeniture run, it feels like a version of "droit du seigneur," the king's right to get first dibs on your spouse on your wedding night. And I want to make sure I get enough of what I ordered. Of course this applies to anyone but my kid. There is something in our genetic wiring that makes us willing to deny ourselves food if our offspring have eaten their share and are still hungry. As much of an over-eater as he was, I know this applied to my dad as well. It was just maybe a little harder for him.
I adored this essay, will!!
Well first of all, aren’t we all neurotic? Second : I come from a family of five. I still have WWII ration stamps with my name on them, a time when our parents used to give the kids the bacon and then fried their bread in the bacon grease to get the taste of the bacon, so sharing was more than a matter of manners. But Will, when sharing with friends, you can loosen up. Just remember the phrase, “You gonna eat that?” Then wait a polite 3 seconds before you make your dive.
I’m so sorry I’ve ruined your life by not overcrowding the world with another kid. Having you was scary enough. Now finish this - I can’t eat another bite!❤️
Will—I am the wrong audience for this. I grew up in rural Kansas as the oldest of 8 and learned to eat as much as possible in the shortest possible time. Having said that—on the rare occasion when I share (usually the remains of the dinner of someone who couldn’t eat all they ordered)—there are times with my granddaughters or others of a sensitive age for whom I may leave the 51% of whatever is being shared! And for the reason you suggest! Best always! Ty
When I was growing up, the tradition in my family was that no one wanted to take the last piece of anything. Sometimes it would just sit out and spoil. But better than being a greedy pig!
I am neurotic about the same thing and I’m not even an only child! Just forever fearful of judgment from everyone every second of every day of my life
Sharing food with friends and family is a wonderful way to explore multiple dishes without having to overorder. Problem is you need willing participants. So I recommend that you pick your meal partners carefully otherwise you may end up with fork marks on the back of your hand.
Can I get 40 pieces of toast tho?
I still can't believe he walked in with 8 orders of toast and thought that was what we wanted
Just be thankful that you didn't grow up in a depression, like your grandparents likely did. Talk about food neuroses (and just about every type of possession). Also, be thankful if your parents didn't guilt you about starving children in (fill in the location). Sharing things at a reasonable level can be a positive thing, for you, and those you share with. It's part of what binds people together (again, Fred and Barney sharing that dinosaur steak). So, feel good about your generosity, as long as you're getting enough resources to keep yourself healthy and happy. So, you gonna eat that last piece of veggie delight pizza, or what?
Will, I've now caught up on all of your essays from this current one back thru "On the 4th of July". I printed them all out to read & reread and to make sure I was getting the subtle gists of your musings. I must say that I'm thoroughly enjoying all that you've written and will go back beyond the "4th" piece to refresh MY dumb brain full of misfired synapses, for more of what you've shared with your adoring public. My favorite line of the past work I've just enjoyed is " off the carpet of nothingness" which is a fine title for a book, a collection of essays, etc. or even an autobiography!
Please please please keep writing...it's a "REALLY Good Idea" !
Take good care and keep safe.