There are a lot of things about getting older that kick ass. When it comes right down to it, I can do basically anything I want. Sure, I’ll have to deal with the consequences but if I wanted to I could spend the next week eating nothing but ice cream and then spend the week after that perpetually stuck in the bathroom. I could rent the shittiest car Hertz has to offer and return it without filling up the tank and nobody could stop me (sure it would cost me $100,000 but I could do it!) I could even get a liberal arts degree and then spend the next decade trying to break into an industry where even the people who have “made it” are miserable and… wait a second why didn’t anyone stop me? I guess that’s beside the point, but getting older isn’t all bad. There is one part of it that super-duper sucks and I think you’ll all agree: there are SO many annoying ways to hurt your neck.
You've named two of mine, sneezing and sleeping weird. Can't say I've ever done it while driving, which seems too terrifying to be comical, but is close. My third way, and I can't believe you haven't experienced it - hurting my neck while exercising. Going from that slightly smug, "look at me, working out, a role model for those with weaker moral fiber" strut, to "oh, fuck oh fuck oh fuck," and trying to leave the room without letting anyone know I've crippled myself.
Funny Will. Forget the neck, which is miserable (mine was trying to shoot a shotgun at a clay disc that wasn't even a real bird which I wouldn'y shoot anyway and I missed anyway and owww) but the back. The mystery of the human back. Lifting a bag of concrete is fine, but bending to pick up that feather and you're frozen and in the kind of agony that only a stunt man diving off a cliff can experience.
Definitely 3 annoying ways. My most annoying way to hurt my neck? Just existing. (btw, Tiger Balm does wonders for the pain.)
Falling down an elevator shaft (not joking).
Time for a daily exercise to loosen up
You've named two of mine, sneezing and sleeping weird. Can't say I've ever done it while driving, which seems too terrifying to be comical, but is close. My third way, and I can't believe you haven't experienced it - hurting my neck while exercising. Going from that slightly smug, "look at me, working out, a role model for those with weaker moral fiber" strut, to "oh, fuck oh fuck oh fuck," and trying to leave the room without letting anyone know I've crippled myself.
Funny Will. Forget the neck, which is miserable (mine was trying to shoot a shotgun at a clay disc that wasn't even a real bird which I wouldn'y shoot anyway and I missed anyway and owww) but the back. The mystery of the human back. Lifting a bag of concrete is fine, but bending to pick up that feather and you're frozen and in the kind of agony that only a stunt man diving off a cliff can experience.