There’s something kinda magical about getting hungry on a road trip in America. It’s not often that I swell with great pride for my country… what with the history of racism, the class divides, the military-industrial complex, and the overall inability we seem to have when it comes to taking care of our less fortunate citizens. However, when my tummy starts a-grumbling while the wheels are a-rumbling, and I see those big beautiful truck stop lights in the distance…I hear a bald eagle screech (which is actually the sound of some kind of hawk) and my vision flashes red, white, and blue.
Going on a road trip can be pretty fun under the right circumstances: tunes or podcasts to listen to, sights to see, a getaway without all the fuss of an airport and having to make sure your shampoo isn’t one ounce too big or you’ll get thrown into some back room at LAX and questioned by a dude who’s thinks he’s Jack Bauer. The food options are where road trips take it to the next level in my mind, though.
The time when you’re driving exists in this beautiful liminal space where calories don’t count and the gastrointestinal suffering you’re undoubtedly in for is tomorrow’s problem. A road trip gives you the opportunity to walk through a truck stop convenience store with the wonder of Boris Yeltsin visiting an American grocery store at the end of the Cold War. I’ll ponder over snacks I’ve never heard of or considered: wasabi peas, scary energy drinks with insane fonts, pork rinds, whatever the mad scientists in the Doritos labs came up with during their last ayahuasca trip, something called “Chex Mix Buffalo Sandwich Remix.” It’s all fair game.
Something about the Wild West of the road and wandering through a gas station in the middle of a desert, hundreds of miles from home, makes me feel like a kid in a candy store. I have a credit card and no adult supervision…I can buy whatever I want! I can get five desserts, I can get three kinds of chips, I can get a diet coke at 9 pm and nobody can stop me except the eventual 1 am panic attack I’ll almost certainly have.
This attitude, at least for me, extends to fast food as well. I’m no stranger to McDonald’s, or Wendy’s but the only time I’ve ever eaten Arby’s was on a road trip. The lawlessness of the open road makes buying some sort of roast beef sandwich that looks like it’s covered in Cheez Whiz, feel almost sane.
I hate to admit it, but that hot deli meat sandwich that I scarfed down somewhere north of Modesto, CA nearly a decade ago still occupies a certain part of my taste buds’ memories and every so often when I hit the freeway with hours to go on my drive…I start thinking about that Arby’s horsey sauce…and my mouth starts watering.
I don’t know if I’ll ever actually eat there again, but if I do, it’ll be on a road trip!
So, what’s your go-to road trip snack? Is there anything you’ll ONLY eat on a road trip?
When I was a kid I was obsessed with those giant tubes of goo that were flavored like artificial watermelon. I would eat an entire tube in one sitting while my sisters tried to pull out my hair on either side of me.
When our kids were still living at home road trips were a rare opportunity to eat fast food, even for vegetarians like me. McDonald's even came out with some pretty good wrap options. Now that it's just my husband and me we tend to pack a cooler for road trips.