On Scary Movies

I’m a bit of a baby. Sure, I have the muscle strength to hold up my head without anyone’s help, I don’t shit my pants (anymore), and unless I’ve had a few too many libations, I can clearly communicate my needs and emotions. Nevertheless, I am a baby in a few situations: I hate calling customer service or making appointments and will put them off until the anxiety feels like something a nuclear submarine commander would experience during the Cold War, I pick the cucumbers, cilantro, and pickles out of any dish I order without fail (and still complain that I can taste them), and I freak out if I see a spider that’s too big. None of these areas in which I’m an infant negatively impacts my relationship, thank God. One other thing I’m a baby about does, though…scary movies.

My fiancé LOVES scary movies. You may be thinking, “Lots of people like scary movies. Heck, I’ve seen The Exorcist and maybe one of those Final Destination movies. I kinda liked it!” It’s true, lots of people like scary movies, you’ve probably seen a few and maybe even enjoyed one or two. My fiancé, though, LIVES for them. She’s seen every single Saw movie. She even gave a standing ovation in the theatre to one of them. She’s seen Hereditary three times (and unfortunately so have I). She’s seen Skinamarink, The Purge, It Follows, The Strangers, Talk To Me, M3GAN, Barbarian, and so many more.

I, on the other hand, have only seen a few of these of these terrifying cinematic experiences. Honestly, without her, I don’t know if I’d ever watch scary movies, but as each October rolls around I put on my big boy pants and watch a couple of scary movies, for the health of my relationship.

A few nights ago, we started the spooky season with a movie neither of us had seen: John Carpenter’s The Thing… the good one from 1982, not the shitty one from 2011. I’d heard good things (heh, sorry, I couldn’t resist) about the movie, and I’m always on the lookout for scary movies that pique my interest, and satisfy my fiancé’s need for chilling thrills.

Let me tell you, The Thing kicks ass. If you haven’t seen it, be warned the special effects are DISGUSTING and they completely hold up. If you can handle that kind of thing, go watch this movie! It takes place in a remote research facility in Antarctica, where something goes wrong and nobody knows who can be trusted and who should be roasted with flamethrowers.

What I loved about this movie was it wasn’t just jump-scares and grotesqueries. It builds tension and anxiety in the same way Alien and Jaws do. Sure, you see the Thing a little more than the shark or the xenomorph but the same principle exists: not seeing the scary thing for long periods can absolutely be scarier than seeing it. In addition to all this, Kurt Russel is awesome in this movie and has one of the most beautiful heads of hair I’ve ever seen. It might be worth the watch just to see those gorgeous locks.

What about you? Any favorite scary movies? Do you like them? Loath them?