What hurts me most are the times where your senses tell you not to do something but you do it anyway! For instance, lighting the propane heater in a camper when you realize the smell of propane is too heavy just as you push the igniter! Woosh, you just donated an eyebrow, half your mustache and the hair on one arm! I knew better but at that moment failed to stop myself!
You almost lost an eye. Painful, but not as painful (or expensive) as the psychic pain I'm about to describe. It was one of those quarterly e-waste events at the Rose Bowl and I was gleefully going through the house collecting old iPhones, iPads, cords, chargers, portable phones, a small TV and three pounds of used batteries.AND, while I was doing that, I was carefully deleting all the data on Susan's old computer. Having put all the other electronics in the car I sat at the kitchen table working on my computer while Susan's finished up erasing everything. It took longer than expected and I had things to do, so when it was finally cleansed, I grabbed my keys, grabbed the computer, tossed it into the back of the car and headed to the Rose Bowl, where I was delighted to see there was no line. I emptied the car, congratulated myself on being so environmentally responsible, and headed to the driving range. After a nice practice session I headed home, sat down at the kitchen table and opened my computer. Did I mention that Susan's computer, although older and heavier, was the same metallic silver? Yeah. I threw away my computer. And then had to throw away $1500 to replace it. How stupid is that?! Although thanks to some strong advice from my son I did have an external hard drive which I'd at least been smart enough to use about a week earlier. My advice to anyone else with two computers in the family: get two different colors.
I was wondering if you would have the guts to tell this story and I applaud you for telling it. The only way to truly put this nightmare to rest is to expose it to the light of the comment section of my Substack.
oh will. the night before the last day of school before christmas break (and i had perfect attendance for the first time in my life), it snowed. linda and i went up the street to the sledding hill. she was chicken to go down the hill. BUT NOT I. the back corner of the sled hit the sandbox and pointed super brave me directly at a tree.
INSTEAD of bailing or rolling off the sled, what did i do? i tilted my body up a bit, planning to zip by the tree in my successful first sled ride of the year.
with my cute little tilt, i stretched my ab muscles tight and exposed my torso, specifically my spleen, to the big mean tree who proceeded to rip my spleen in half.
i lived, although it was a hellish night, required emergency surgery, kept me in the hospital for two weeks, and was supposedly going to impact my ability to fight infections for all of time.
and you just know i didn't end up with perfect attendance.
Oh my goodness. First of all, this made me laugh a lot, but also feel for you and your pain. I hope you are all healed up now! Second of all, it reminded me of when I did something stupid that involved my eye as well. I was working behind a bar and the computer & register was placed on the wrong side of the beer tap. Instead of unplugging it, I decided I should lift it over the beer tap because I figured I was strong enough to do so. Spoiler alert- I wasn’t. The cash register fell directly on my face, cutting my eyebrow and missing my eye by less than a quarter of an inch. Of course I thought I had gotten my eye because of the pain and amount of blood gushing from my eyebrow. I had to be taken away in an ambulance and it took 8 stitches to patch me up. I also had a gnarly black eye for over two weeks. It’s funny to think about now, but boy oh boy was it a stupid thing to do.
I hate those moments when you think, "I can reach that" or "I can make that jump" and then you just have to admit that no, you could not in fact do that thing and now you are bleeding.
It was 10 below zero and I volunteered to go to the store for some provisions. When I returned, there was no dog to greet me. It suddenly dawned on me I had let her out in the yard before I left and forgot to let her back in. When I opened the door to let her in, I received the only dirty look I ever received from our always adoring golden retriever.
Nothing comes to mind, which leads me to think either I've never done anything stupid, or I do so many stupid things on a daily basis that no single act stands out as memorable. (I'm very glad you closed your eye in time!)
Spilling beer on my laptop during the fantasy baseball draft is definitely up there. Now the spacebarisstickyandtypingsentencescanbesuperannoying. Damn it!
Thinking you put the kick stand down and having your motorcycle drop on top of you in the ralph’s parking lot…
If I had a nickel for every time that's happened to me, man...
What hurts me most are the times where your senses tell you not to do something but you do it anyway! For instance, lighting the propane heater in a camper when you realize the smell of propane is too heavy just as you push the igniter! Woosh, you just donated an eyebrow, half your mustache and the hair on one arm! I knew better but at that moment failed to stop myself!
those are the worst! when you know you shouldn't and you still do and then you have to deal with the consequences
You almost lost an eye. Painful, but not as painful (or expensive) as the psychic pain I'm about to describe. It was one of those quarterly e-waste events at the Rose Bowl and I was gleefully going through the house collecting old iPhones, iPads, cords, chargers, portable phones, a small TV and three pounds of used batteries.AND, while I was doing that, I was carefully deleting all the data on Susan's old computer. Having put all the other electronics in the car I sat at the kitchen table working on my computer while Susan's finished up erasing everything. It took longer than expected and I had things to do, so when it was finally cleansed, I grabbed my keys, grabbed the computer, tossed it into the back of the car and headed to the Rose Bowl, where I was delighted to see there was no line. I emptied the car, congratulated myself on being so environmentally responsible, and headed to the driving range. After a nice practice session I headed home, sat down at the kitchen table and opened my computer. Did I mention that Susan's computer, although older and heavier, was the same metallic silver? Yeah. I threw away my computer. And then had to throw away $1500 to replace it. How stupid is that?! Although thanks to some strong advice from my son I did have an external hard drive which I'd at least been smart enough to use about a week earlier. My advice to anyone else with two computers in the family: get two different colors.
I was wondering if you would have the guts to tell this story and I applaud you for telling it. The only way to truly put this nightmare to rest is to expose it to the light of the comment section of my Substack.
Got to rip the band aid. And don’t worry, I’ve got more stupidity in my back pocket.
oh will. the night before the last day of school before christmas break (and i had perfect attendance for the first time in my life), it snowed. linda and i went up the street to the sledding hill. she was chicken to go down the hill. BUT NOT I. the back corner of the sled hit the sandbox and pointed super brave me directly at a tree.
INSTEAD of bailing or rolling off the sled, what did i do? i tilted my body up a bit, planning to zip by the tree in my successful first sled ride of the year.
with my cute little tilt, i stretched my ab muscles tight and exposed my torso, specifically my spleen, to the big mean tree who proceeded to rip my spleen in half.
i lived, although it was a hellish night, required emergency surgery, kept me in the hospital for two weeks, and was supposedly going to impact my ability to fight infections for all of time.
and you just know i didn't end up with perfect attendance.
Oh my god! That sounds miserable! I'm so glad you were (eventually) okay. Sorry about your perfect attendance!
Oh my goodness. First of all, this made me laugh a lot, but also feel for you and your pain. I hope you are all healed up now! Second of all, it reminded me of when I did something stupid that involved my eye as well. I was working behind a bar and the computer & register was placed on the wrong side of the beer tap. Instead of unplugging it, I decided I should lift it over the beer tap because I figured I was strong enough to do so. Spoiler alert- I wasn’t. The cash register fell directly on my face, cutting my eyebrow and missing my eye by less than a quarter of an inch. Of course I thought I had gotten my eye because of the pain and amount of blood gushing from my eyebrow. I had to be taken away in an ambulance and it took 8 stitches to patch me up. I also had a gnarly black eye for over two weeks. It’s funny to think about now, but boy oh boy was it a stupid thing to do.
I hate those moments when you think, "I can reach that" or "I can make that jump" and then you just have to admit that no, you could not in fact do that thing and now you are bleeding.
hah. yep. happens more often than i care to admit.
It was 10 below zero and I volunteered to go to the store for some provisions. When I returned, there was no dog to greet me. It suddenly dawned on me I had let her out in the yard before I left and forgot to let her back in. When I opened the door to let her in, I received the only dirty look I ever received from our always adoring golden retriever.
awww that poor pup-sicle!
Nothing comes to mind, which leads me to think either I've never done anything stupid, or I do so many stupid things on a daily basis that no single act stands out as memorable. (I'm very glad you closed your eye in time!)
Spilling beer on my laptop during the fantasy baseball draft is definitely up there. Now the spacebarisstickyandtypingsentencescanbesuperannoying. Damn it!