I’m no expert when it comes to what’s edible and what’s not. I’ll often look into my fridge and see a container full of greens and think, those look fine…only to open it up and be launched across the room by the stink of decomposing vegetables. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I can’t even count the number of times I’ve looked at something in the fridge or freezer and thought, “Surely whatever that is has long ago gone rancid.” Surprise, surprise! Those mini-tacos don’t go bad until 2046 or the destruction of the planet Earth, whichever comes first. With all of that in mind, I’ve figured out what the single most dangerous food known to humankind…throw your guess in the comments below and see if our dumb brains are aligned.
I have no issue with avocados. Our time in Mexico has schooled us well on their selection and preparation. My demon food is much more devious and seemingly benign. It's popcorn. I have broken a tooth on popcorn enough times to send my dentist's children to college. Apparently, I'm not yet fully schooled on that one.
Carefully cut the avocado in half, leaving the pit in. Hold the half with the pit in one hand, pit up. Take the knife in the other hand and drive it into the center of the pit. (Not as scary as it sounds.) Rotate the knife and lift the pit out. Easy peasy.
Missed the last post because -- wait for it -- I was in Jamaica. Had I known what lurked in the food there, I would have been more diligent. Fortunately, I dodged that bullet
Well, this one was worth it just for the phrase “Jamaican vomiting sickness.” “Demon core” was pretty awesome too, but far less easy to visualize. I had to look it up on Wikipedia. You should give people a hint, because the story’s as good as the name. As for the much maligned avocado, you’ve got some careless friends. You’ve really got to be asleep at the switch to hurt yourself cutting one of my favorite fruits! I’ve been doing it for years and haven’t come close. I’’ll tell you the edible up there with the Ackee and puffer fish - the bagel! I almost slices off my thumb trying to halve one of those innocent looking killers just before a table reading of a pilot my partner and I had sold to CBS. Twelve network minions and Les Moonves, the Darth Vader of the network all sitting there with “prove to us this isn’t the piece of shit we think it is” looks on their faces and me on the opposite side of the table with my hand raised above my head as blood seeped out of the roll of paper towel wrapped around my thumb. After the table reading (which did NOT go well, I went to the urgent care for stitches and the doctor said, laughing, “bagels keep us in business. You should see this place on Sundays. It’s like a M.A.S.H. unit!”
In my mind, a Classic Coke is the most dangerous food. It has to be ice cold for the full power of its toxicity to function. When served in the middle of a long, arduous day, preferably with something salty and high in fat (double indemnity), and you feel the biting carbonated crispness go down your throat, you just don't care about that lethal dose of high fructose corn syrup.
I have no issue with avocados. Our time in Mexico has schooled us well on their selection and preparation. My demon food is much more devious and seemingly benign. It's popcorn. I have broken a tooth on popcorn enough times to send my dentist's children to college. Apparently, I'm not yet fully schooled on that one.
Carefully cut the avocado in half, leaving the pit in. Hold the half with the pit in one hand, pit up. Take the knife in the other hand and drive it into the center of the pit. (Not as scary as it sounds.) Rotate the knife and lift the pit out. Easy peasy.
Missed the last post because -- wait for it -- I was in Jamaica. Had I known what lurked in the food there, I would have been more diligent. Fortunately, I dodged that bullet
Well, this one was worth it just for the phrase “Jamaican vomiting sickness.” “Demon core” was pretty awesome too, but far less easy to visualize. I had to look it up on Wikipedia. You should give people a hint, because the story’s as good as the name. As for the much maligned avocado, you’ve got some careless friends. You’ve really got to be asleep at the switch to hurt yourself cutting one of my favorite fruits! I’ve been doing it for years and haven’t come close. I’’ll tell you the edible up there with the Ackee and puffer fish - the bagel! I almost slices off my thumb trying to halve one of those innocent looking killers just before a table reading of a pilot my partner and I had sold to CBS. Twelve network minions and Les Moonves, the Darth Vader of the network all sitting there with “prove to us this isn’t the piece of shit we think it is” looks on their faces and me on the opposite side of the table with my hand raised above my head as blood seeped out of the roll of paper towel wrapped around my thumb. After the table reading (which did NOT go well, I went to the urgent care for stitches and the doctor said, laughing, “bagels keep us in business. You should see this place on Sundays. It’s like a M.A.S.H. unit!”
In my mind, a Classic Coke is the most dangerous food. It has to be ice cold for the full power of its toxicity to function. When served in the middle of a long, arduous day, preferably with something salty and high in fat (double indemnity), and you feel the biting carbonated crispness go down your throat, you just don't care about that lethal dose of high fructose corn syrup.
Commenting before reading your take, it’s gotta be hot cheetos