I have no issue with avocados. Our time in Mexico has schooled us well on their selection and preparation. My demon food is much more devious and seemingly benign. It's popcorn. I have broken a tooth on popcorn enough times to send my dentist's children to college. Apparently, I'm not yet fully schooled on that one.
Carefully cut the avocado in half, leaving the pit in. Hold the half with the pit in one hand, pit up. Take the knife in the other hand and drive it into the center of the pit. (Not as scary as it sounds.) Rotate the knife and lift the pit out. Easy peasy.
It sounds terrifying and one of my friends barely missed striking the center of the pit and the blade slid off and sent him to the hospital! But yeah that’s the best way to pit them, although I’ve started using a spoon and I’m not convinced it not better!
Missed the last post because -- wait for it -- I was in Jamaica. Had I known what lurked in the food there, I would have been more diligent. Fortunately, I dodged that bullet
Well, this one was worth it just for the phrase “Jamaican vomiting sickness.” “Demon core” was pretty awesome too, but far less easy to visualize. I had to look it up on Wikipedia. You should give people a hint, because the story’s as good as the name. As for the much maligned avocado, you’ve got some careless friends. You’ve really got to be asleep at the switch to hurt yourself cutting one of my favorite fruits! I’ve been doing it for years and haven’t come close. I’’ll tell you the edible up there with the Ackee and puffer fish - the bagel! I almost slices off my thumb trying to halve one of those innocent looking killers just before a table reading of a pilot my partner and I had sold to CBS. Twelve network minions and Les Moonves, the Darth Vader of the network all sitting there with “prove to us this isn’t the piece of shit we think it is” looks on their faces and me on the opposite side of the table with my hand raised above my head as blood seeped out of the roll of paper towel wrapped around my thumb. After the table reading (which did NOT go well, I went to the urgent care for stitches and the doctor said, laughing, “bagels keep us in business. You should see this place on Sundays. It’s like a M.A.S.H. unit!”
How is cutting a bagel any different than an avocado?! Both should be much easier than they are! And I linked the Demon Core Wikipedia page right there in the post! Those underlined segments are hyperlinks
I will contend until the day I die that bagels are tougher. Either they're frozen and slippery or thawed and too bendable. Avocados have that nice grippy skin and you can rest them on a counter and cut halfway, then flip them over and finish cutting, always cutting away from you. Everybody recognizes bages are harder, which is why you can buy a bagel slicer on Amazon, but the only avocado slicer I've ever seen is for use AFTER you've already cut it in half. Plus, the guy at urgent care said bagel cutters were their biggest clientele. He never mentioned avocado slicers. I will, however, admit that yes, you did add the link, which was in fact, what I used to learn the fascinating history of the demon core. I apologize for that oversight.
In my mind, a Classic Coke is the most dangerous food. It has to be ice cold for the full power of its toxicity to function. When served in the middle of a long, arduous day, preferably with something salty and high in fat (double indemnity), and you feel the biting carbonated crispness go down your throat, you just don't care about that lethal dose of high fructose corn syrup.
I have no issue with avocados. Our time in Mexico has schooled us well on their selection and preparation. My demon food is much more devious and seemingly benign. It's popcorn. I have broken a tooth on popcorn enough times to send my dentist's children to college. Apparently, I'm not yet fully schooled on that one.
Oh man that feeling of hitting a kernel when you’re expecting popped is a nightmare!
Carefully cut the avocado in half, leaving the pit in. Hold the half with the pit in one hand, pit up. Take the knife in the other hand and drive it into the center of the pit. (Not as scary as it sounds.) Rotate the knife and lift the pit out. Easy peasy.
It sounds terrifying and one of my friends barely missed striking the center of the pit and the blade slid off and sent him to the hospital! But yeah that’s the best way to pit them, although I’ve started using a spoon and I’m not convinced it not better!
Ouch! Don't get too close to that friend when he's wielding! I'm sorry that happened to him.
Missed the last post because -- wait for it -- I was in Jamaica. Had I known what lurked in the food there, I would have been more diligent. Fortunately, I dodged that bullet
Whew that was a close one!
Well, this one was worth it just for the phrase “Jamaican vomiting sickness.” “Demon core” was pretty awesome too, but far less easy to visualize. I had to look it up on Wikipedia. You should give people a hint, because the story’s as good as the name. As for the much maligned avocado, you’ve got some careless friends. You’ve really got to be asleep at the switch to hurt yourself cutting one of my favorite fruits! I’ve been doing it for years and haven’t come close. I’’ll tell you the edible up there with the Ackee and puffer fish - the bagel! I almost slices off my thumb trying to halve one of those innocent looking killers just before a table reading of a pilot my partner and I had sold to CBS. Twelve network minions and Les Moonves, the Darth Vader of the network all sitting there with “prove to us this isn’t the piece of shit we think it is” looks on their faces and me on the opposite side of the table with my hand raised above my head as blood seeped out of the roll of paper towel wrapped around my thumb. After the table reading (which did NOT go well, I went to the urgent care for stitches and the doctor said, laughing, “bagels keep us in business. You should see this place on Sundays. It’s like a M.A.S.H. unit!”
How is cutting a bagel any different than an avocado?! Both should be much easier than they are! And I linked the Demon Core Wikipedia page right there in the post! Those underlined segments are hyperlinks
I will contend until the day I die that bagels are tougher. Either they're frozen and slippery or thawed and too bendable. Avocados have that nice grippy skin and you can rest them on a counter and cut halfway, then flip them over and finish cutting, always cutting away from you. Everybody recognizes bages are harder, which is why you can buy a bagel slicer on Amazon, but the only avocado slicer I've ever seen is for use AFTER you've already cut it in half. Plus, the guy at urgent care said bagel cutters were their biggest clientele. He never mentioned avocado slicers. I will, however, admit that yes, you did add the link, which was in fact, what I used to learn the fascinating history of the demon core. I apologize for that oversight.
In my mind, a Classic Coke is the most dangerous food. It has to be ice cold for the full power of its toxicity to function. When served in the middle of a long, arduous day, preferably with something salty and high in fat (double indemnity), and you feel the biting carbonated crispness go down your throat, you just don't care about that lethal dose of high fructose corn syrup.
Oooo just reading this is making my mouth water!
Commenting before reading your take, it’s gotta be hot cheetos