On the Simplicity of Buttered Toast
I love complexity, sometimes to a fault. From the games I play to the books I read, I LOVE overly complex stuff. Give me a fantasy novel with six maps in the beginning and five pages of elvish genealogy because I’m a glutton for all that dumb shit. Give me a board game with a rulebook thicker than the King James Bible (if my girlfriend isn’t dangerously overwhelmed by the time I explain the game setup, I’m not interested). But for every thousand-page sci-fi novel or 200-hour JRPG, there’s a simple thing that occupies the same special place in my heart.
I’ve had some pretty special meals in my life. I’ve been blessed enough to go to some fancy ass restaurants and eat some incredibly complicated and delicious foods. Don’t get me wrong, they’re amazing and almost always worth it if you have the chance and the means…but honestly, the fanciest meal in the world doesn’t compare to a nice fresh slice of bread with a bit of butter.
This is the thought process that inspired today’s essay: over the last few days, we’ve hosted a few dinners at our apartment and cooked some very nice and very delicious meals. We have a fridge full of leftovers and ingredients that could very easily be used to create even more delicious food. I stood in front of the open fridge going through my options: pappardelle with a scrumptious sauce and perfectly cooked beef, gochujang salmon with crispy quinoa and green beans that would make your mouth water, Oreo cream cups that I’m still dreaming about, avocado toast at the snap of your fingers and YET what did I crave more than anything when I stared into this cornucopia? Some bread with butter.
Humans have been enjoying the simple pleasure of bread with butter since before Vasco da Gama departed on his first voyage, since before the toothbrush was invented, since before the first bottled beer! The Oxford English Dictionary lists the first known reference to buttered toast as 1496… which was 527 years ago! 527 years from now will be the year 2550! We’ll probably have colonies on Mars or intergalactic travel or we’ll have destroyed the entire human race by then but if we do still exist I hope to god that people are enjoying the simple pleasure of buttered bread in that far-off future.
Whether it’s white or wheat, sourdough or a French roll, salted or unsalted, buttered bread is always good. It goes with basically any meal from the earliest breakfast to the latest night snack. From the lowliest Olive Garden to the fanciest fine dining establishment buttered bread is at home in every single situation. As I sit here right now, I have a little plate next to me with a piece of baguette that came with a long-gone salad and a little pad of butter, slowly warming to room temperature, and as a reward for finishing this week’s blog, I’m slathering that baby in butter and going to town. I can only hope that you have such an indulgence in your near future, dear reader!
So, what’s your favorite bread-and-butter combo? Are you adding garlic, salt, or something more adventurous?
Years ago, we took my mom out for dinner. The waiter attempted to clear her bread and butter plate to prepare for dessert. She held his arm back, and said “Oh don’t touch that, it’s the staff of life”! And so we were taught from childhood.
I love a classic piece of toast with butter - after all, I was born in Wisconsin, where the badger may be the official state animal, bu only because the University football team felt the cow didn't have a big enough intimidation factor. But then I moved away to the culinary sophistication of New York, where I fell in love with olive oil. Combine that with a chunk of warm baguette and a glass of wine and a book of Billy Collins poetry and that's all anyone could ask for.