On Venue Vetting
Getting engaged was one of the best things I’ve ever done. After dating someone for 5+ years, it just felt right to make a commitment and say, “Hey, do you wanna do this thing for real?” The influx of incredibly sweet messages, Instagram likes, and dopamine that comes from that kind of attention was pretty great too. Naturally, I was interested in keeping that emotional high going but one thing stood in the way…actually planning a wedding.
The beginning stages of planning a wedding are terrifying and anybody who has had one can tell you why: the possibilities are limitless! Do you want a big wedding or a small wedding? Outside or inside? Summer or winter? Rural or urban? Traditional or unconventional. It could be anything!
Once you start to narrow down the options and start to say, “I may not know exactly what I want, but I do know what I don’t want,” the picture starts to get a little clearer. That’s when the fun begins.
We figured out a few places where we wouldn’t hate walking down the aisle and booked some tours. As soon as we made that first leap, those first decisions, the whole thing started to come into focus in a way that I can only describe as unbelievably relieving. When the time to take that first tour arrived, we took our collective breaths and walked into the next step of our lives together.
The first venue was…not too shabby! It was a pretty spot in Topanga Canyon, covered in trees and greenery. It definitely gave a good first impression but it didn’t knock our socks off. Also, the young man who was showing us the venue was very knowledgeable, very personable, and I think, pretty hungover. Sure, it was a warm day out but this guy was sweating like he was running an ultra-marathon. After the tour, Cecilia turned to me and said, “Did you notice?” “Notice what?” I replied. “The tour guide was farting the entire time!”
I laughed the kind of unexpected laugh that usually sends milk shooting out of a kid’s nose. Not only was our guide unfortunately flatulent, but he had a very sweet dalmatian who took a huge dump in the middle of the area where we would potentially get married…not the most encouraging sign.
So, that first tour was a bit of a rollercoaster but we were off and running. Suddenly the process didn’t seem nearly so daunting. If we could choose where we wanted to get married, we could choose a caterer and a DJ and a photographer and an officiant and a bartender and a…okay I’m starting to get stressed out again.
We’ve seen a few more venues since then and we’ve found a few that we’ve fallen in love with. We still have a couple more appointments on the schedule but even if we hate the remaining ones, we’ll have a spot we love.
It’s going to be a long process, one that at times will feel impossibly stressful, I’m sure, but we have wonderful friends and families who are all willing to help. Thankfully, we’re finally ready to accept some of that help!
What’s your experiences with weddings? Ever planned one? Got any tips?
Just loved this! And since we’ve been trying hard not to pry, it was great to get filled in on the progress so far. And the farting. And the dog. And the dog’s dump. We were more broke than you when we got married so our choices were easy. Have it in a park or a friend’s backyard. Fortunately Susan’s maid of honor had parents who’d know the bride to be since childhood, and they had a perfect backyard. Even better, they were going to be out of town. So we had a great cheap wedding that ended with one of the most fun parties I’ve ever been to. And that’s what you want. Get that good DJ, otherwise you’re relying on someone like me, who took so long to put together the mixtape that the bride threatened to walk. Fortunately I did and she didn’t and we lived happily ever after. And now it’s your turn! You’ve picked the perfect person to be with, so it’s guaranteed to be a fantastic celebration no matter what venue you two decide on!
Bruce and I had been living together about 9 months. His parents were coming from Chicago to California for his cousin's wedding in 3 weeks. I said to him, let's save them a trip and get married while they're out. He said OK. Pretty darn romantic proposal. The wedding was in my parents' living room with 13 people, counting us and the judge. Then another 30 people for the backyard reception of badminton and croquet. Somehow the genetics failed and both my kids had big weddings.