29 Comments
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KatyM's avatar

I absolutely agree with this grossness. Also appreciate the use of Sisyphus (which I had to Google). Good one!

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Will Peterman's avatar

Thank you! Just trying to spread all my weird thoughts and useless knowledge to all!

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Lee Chemel's avatar

Ok, Will, I agree. And this will be the first (and only) time I will put forward an ad in your wonderful posts. Here is a product that will divest you of your wet trash trauma. It WILL, however, require you to ask Santa (i.e. your parents) for a Christmas or Hanukkah gift for the holidays. Just think: you can rid yourself forever of the wet trash trauma and at the same time, do some serious eco-friendly work. AND, if you have a garden .... wow. Please forgive this blatant Ad. It is GENIUS! https://www.crateandbarrel.com/vitamix-foodcycler-compost-machine/s683919?localedetail=US&a=1552&campaignid=12495285595&adgroupid=120645470124&targetid=pla-1912108808328&pla_sku=683919&pcat=HSW&ag=adult&scid=scplp683919&sc_intid=683919&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7bucBhCeARIsAIOwr--8UEqZxsZGayGbN2KLdoUwwSYbdiYots-MhAs_LAbtgjZtYd1Z2LMaAjFnEALw_wcB

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Will Peterman's avatar

How much are they paying you for that wonderful advertisement? How do I get in on this gig!?

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Lee Chemel's avatar

Ha! Alas I paid full price. You’d be a perfect rep! You put in garbage and it comes out like cornflakes!

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DT's avatar

Potential life hack: If you have the freezer space, toss food waste into a shitty, plastic takeout container and freeze it until you’re ready to take out the trash. No more odors or wetness

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Will Peterman's avatar

woah! Now that is a life hack!

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Ty Cobb's avatar

Dude—you are gonna love changing diapers and cleaning kid vomit off your shirt and neck….

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Will Peterman's avatar

Yet another glowing review of parenthood!

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Steve Peterman's avatar

Exactly the comment I was going to make. And the most surprising thing is, while I wouldn't say I loved changing the author's diapers and cleaning up his kid vomit, I can honestly say, I didn't hate it. Because that same kid always looked so damn cute when he was sleeping that I found myself projecting a tiny bit of that cuteness onto the stuff he...projected out of both ends.

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Will Peterman's avatar

Hey man, I didn't ask to be born. That was your fault.

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Lee Chemel's avatar

hilarious

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KLS's avatar

Wait until you have kids. They get garbage wet in entirely new ways.

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Will Peterman's avatar

Hahah why are people always trying to convince my generation not to have kids!?

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KLS's avatar

No!!! You have to have kids!!! We just have to warn you. :)

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phyllis bazajou's avatar

Glad ForceFlex kitchen trash bags👌🥳

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Will Peterman's avatar

True, higher quality trash bags can save you some of the time...but other times, the wet trash is too powerful for even the fanciest of trash bags!

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Cecilia McCollum's avatar

Bed bugs are 100,000,000.00 GS

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Will Peterman's avatar

couldn't agree more! Gross little hoes

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Stephen C Beck's avatar

Because you hit the nail on the head and completely grossed me out (and since I have been appointed the trash guy in our house) , I looked up food composters on Amazon, thinking that might help the situation. Well, they're all expensive that I can see ($500 range) and from I can tell they just metamorphasizes the trash and you still have to figure out what to do with the results. I see Lee finds the machine helpful, so maybe I'm wrong. Still, asking it for Christmas/Hanukkah just seems wrong. Like that Christmas when instead of toys you get clothes.

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Will Peterman's avatar

That’s the thing about growing up though, I’m stoked whenever I get stuff like socks for Christmas because that means I don’t have to buy it myself!

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Harry Pinkus's avatar

We have a trash bin dedicated to compostable material only. Testimony to its grossness is that our neighborhood raccoons won't go near it.

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Will Peterman's avatar

Sheesh, that means it really must be the grossest of the gross!

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Harry Pinkus's avatar

Like a scene from a '50's horror movie.

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Steven Ugoretz's avatar

Oh, I thought your were writing about poor, white, incestuous swamp dwellers. My bad.

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Will Peterman's avatar

Ha!

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Steven Ugoretz's avatar

Enough of this trash talking. It's time to roll the bins to the curb.

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Steve Peterman's avatar

Well, the easy one got taken right away, and then taken again. And again. But I do have a backup. That's the squirrel you find half eaten in your backyard, which you can only assume was the victim of some owl/hawk/very bold coyote, followed closely by the bird remains your innocent looking cat has dined on after eating the expensive cat food you ordered online. And then there's always that cute little mouse the author and I once tried to trap in the back room of our old house. If I remember correctly we screamed like six year olds at one point, probably terrifying the poor thing.

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Will Peterman's avatar

In my defense, something touched my arm and I swore the mouse escaped so I momentarily lost control of my arms and legs.

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