On Being the Best Man

Weddings are great. It’s a chance to celebrate people you love (hopefully) finding the person they’re meant to be with (hopefully) and committing to spending the rest of their lives together (hopefully). Obviously, it doesn’t always work out, but that’s not the point. The point is, at that moment in time, anything is possible, everything is ahead of them, and it’s all joyful! I’ve written about weddings before because, as a man in his early 30s, I’ve been to a lot of weddings over the past few years. This time was different, however, because this time I wasn’t just someone’s date who looks good in a suit. This time I wasn’t just a cousin there to keep random aunts and uncles, twice or thrice removed, company. This time I wasn’t just one of many friends there to get boozy and dance the night away. This time I was in the wedding…this time I was the Best Man.

I’ve known the groom since college. He’s a great guy, if not a little prone to giving in to his impulses: whether that be diving head-first into an acting role, reading an entire run of comics instead of prepping for a midterm, or moving across the country on a whim mere months after you and a few of your friends had just signed the lease on an apartment…and no I’m not still bitter about that one. But really, I’m not, because that move was the first domino that led to this wonderful day.

So, when he asked me to be his best man, I was floored. We’d been friends for nearly a decade and basically brothers for almost as long, but STILL, I was floored. I don’t know how many of you have been the best man or maid of honor or equivalent but it is a massive boost to your ego…followed immediately by an “oh shit” moment when you realize all the things you have to plan and assist with…especially when your friends are getting married VERY soon…and across the country.

Despite those responsibilities, it was an absolute blast. The bachelor party went off basically without a hitch. Needless to say, I’ll never tell you about the details of what went down in that Joshua Tree Air BnB, besides the gourmet meals we cooked, the glorious sunsets we witnessed, and the SIX, count ‘em SIX movies we watched (Drive, Days of Thunder, Highlander, GoldenEye, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and To Live and Die in LA).

Then, I remembered I had to give a speech. As a writer, I’ve worked on countless speeches for all kinds of situations, but I’ve never written one that I was expected to deliver…and boy was it terrifying. I spent weeks noodling on it, trying to get the tone right and balance the number of jokes and the sentimental bits. I got notes from all my usual saviors and in the end, I think what I ended up with was pretty good.

The wedding itself was a nearly ten-hour explosion of emotion, dancing, food, and drink. And somewhere in the middle of it, I got extremely nervous, got up on stage, and spoke for what felt like a million years…and then it was over, and I was free to enjoy the rest of the evening knowing I didn’t lose the rings, I didn’t faint, and I didn’t make a fool of myself (except on the dance floor). And it was a night I’ll never forget…except for the parts I can’t remember!

So, have you given any speeches? Been a best man or matron of honor? Any tips or tricks?